It's Been a Helluva Ride 11/29/21

kimtruegoldstein
Nov 29, 2021
3 min read

This past year has been a roller coaster for me physically, mentally, and emotionally. Let's begin with the fact that about this time last year I was diagnosed with my second round of Covid-19. Amazingly, no one I had come in contact with caught the virus. This is amazing because we have six to 8 people in our home daily for extended hours. Prior to this experience I was never considered medically obese, the 25 pounds that followed the contraction of Covid-19 has thrown me into that category. My lack of energy and the fact that I could not breath freely for an extended amount of time caused me to be unable to exercise for a healthy duration of time over the course of several months.

By May I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. There were many physical ups and downs as the doctor tried to get my blood pressure regulated. Come August, I was dealing with sore, swollen feet and legs as my husband went through knee surgery. His surgery was not what I would consider typical, considering the fact that they had to stabilize a sudden drop in his blood pressure before proceeding with the surgery and during recovery the nurse could not leave him unattended because he would stop breathing and not resume unless the nurse prompted him. The latter was due to his severe sleep apnea. That night when I arrived home the stress of the day and my own medical issues had resulted in what felt like water balloons as feet.

After my husband's stay in the hospital, I contracted what appeared to be pneumonia. I literally would fall on the ground wheezing as I tried to get air into my lungs. I had tested negative for Covid, Flu, and Strep. Even with those test the doctor would not see me in the office, instead they sent me to the ER. At the ER the nurses were informing people, as they entered, that the hospital was filled with Covid patients. I knew in my heart of hearts that if I went into the hospital I would die. It took about two months of medications before I began to feel like myself again. I now keep an inhaler with me for emergencies.

Finally in 2021 I had to come to terms with the fact that, I lost my online jewelry boutique to EXTREMELY UNPREDICTABLE bad timing. My business partner and I had designed and created a sterling silver jewelry collection that centered around...what else...2020! We were certain that our creativity would pay off because it was the 100-year anniversary of the 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote, a summer Olympic year, and an election year.

The old adage of "We plan, God Laughs" really hit home...no pun intended... but considering my husband is Jewish and this is an old Yiddish proverb...there actually is a pun. My business partner and I had poured our creativity and hard work into this concept for over a year prior to soft launching in November of 2019 and believe me we did not stop at the launch, we kept creating, we kept believing, we climbed trees and hollered. If you are not familiar with that analogy here is the quote.

Oh, did I mention the fact that my step-daughters moved back in with us during that time period? Three girls, their ages at present are almost 16, almost 14, and 11. As you can imagine there are no hormonal moments in this house...that is sarcasm...every day is a hormone-filled experience. The bonus confirmation I receive from my step-daughters is not unique to any step-mother. Can any step-mother with a less than perfect relationship with the biological mother venture a guess as to how I am perceived by these little women? Let's just say I am not their hero and as they continuously remind me...I am not their mother. There was a time I broke emotionally and mentally, because of the situation that had been bestowed upon me. Now this is not true. I will have my voice heard, even if I have to scream to get their attention, and if they don't like, don't agree, and choose a path contrary to my beliefs, at least they should be able to recognize in the future that I cared. I cared enough to speak up, stay strong in the face of adversity, and walk away without a personal injury emotionally, mentally, and/or physically.

So, there you go! This blog had a rough beginning and rightly so, when you consider the enormous number of personal trials. My goal is to be gentle with myself and make a conscious decision to not consider this writing break a defeat, but instead, consider it momentous because I am coming back to begin again.